New Mommy Thoughts

I really enjoy reading Mommy blogs and hearing other Mommy stories about what worked or didn't work for them OR just their general thoughts on Motherhood.  So, I thought I'd share some of my own!

~ Breastfeeding ~

Seriously, no one tells you how freaking hard breast feeding is going to be.  Unfortunately I was only able to nurse for a couple weeks, then started pumping exclusively and at about 3 weeks, my supply just disappeared, which was extremely frustrating.  I had a really hard time with this and couldn't seem to get over that guilty feeling like I did something wrong.  I'm finally starting to come to grips with the fact that BF didn't work for me BUT my son is very happy and healthy (and that is the most important thing)!
Those first few days are SO hard.  I remember getting frustrated because I felt like I couldn't get it and Marshall wasn't figuring it out naturally either.  Initially he wasn't latching right and when he finally did, he would fall asleep after a couple minutes, so he was never satisfied.  He dropped weight pretty quickly the first couple days and being the instant paranoid new Mom, I wanted to supplement with a little formula because I was scared he was starved.  I had at least 5 different lactation consultants/nurses help me in the hospital.  They are very helpful but when I mentioned that I wanted to supplement with formula, they made me feel bad about it.  For those of you that are about to become a new Mommy, be ready for those lactation nurses to be up close and personal.  One of them pretty much laid in bed next to me with her head an inch away from mine, grabbing one of my girls while literally shoving it into Marshall's mouth.  I could feel her breathing on my neck.  Totally was not expecting that.  Good times.
 I will say, BF does not come natural to most.  I've talked to so many of my Mom friends for support and I know that I'm definitely not alone.   I'm thankful that my husband was so supportive about this as well.
Bottom line - Do what's best for you and your baby and don't let anyone make you feel guilty or bad for your decision!  BF is not for everyone.

~ Hormones after giving birth ~

Another thing that no one seems to talk much about.  The day Marshall was born, was pure adrenaline and excitement.  This continued obviously but by about the 3rd day, my hormones were all over the place and I was crying like crazy.  This went on for about a week after he was born.  I was so sensitive, feeling so happy, yet so sad at the same time.  It's hard to explain but I'm sure many women who have had a baby can relate.  Your hormones are so out of wack!  I cried because I couldn't feel movement in my belly any longer and I also cried because my pregnancy was over.  It does get better each day but it's been a month and I'm still SO sensitive.  Thanks again to my supportive Mom friends and my doctor, because I now know that I'm not crazy and it's totally normal.


~ Post baby body ~

Our bodies go through so many changes during pregnancy.  It becomes all about your baby and your body is working overtime to take care of that little one in your belly.
After giving birth, your body begins a whole new set of changes.  You lose water weight but you also end up with more "squishy" areas.  Or at least I did.   Unless you are one of those women that just miraculously looks perfect after giving birth - kuddos to you!   This has been hard for me to say the least.  I've been stressing about my weight, wishing I could get back to my normal pre-pregnancy body but then I look down at my sweet Marshall and realize that I need to chill.  He was so worth every change!  
It took 9 months for my body to go through all those changes with gaining weight, etc, so I need to be patient and realize that it will take time to lose the weight and get my body back to how I want it.


~ Marriage after baby ~

I'll be totally honest, during the last few months of pregnancy, I had a little anxiety on how a baby would change my relationship with Doug.  Truth is, my love for Doug turned into a deeper kind of love and our bond as husband and wife became much stronger.  Yes, it's definitely harder but you need to find a balance and work together as a team.  We're not perfect but we're figuring it out together.   
I really feel complete being a wife and a Mom.  Motherhood has changed me for the better.  There is also nothing better than seeing Doug love and take care of our son.

And lastly...
I kinda feel as women we need to stop questioning each other's decisions.  We all do things differently.  Some of you may want to BF until your baby is a year, some may go straight to formula and some may try it for a few weeks and realize it just doesn't work for them. Some of you may want your baby to sleep in the nursery from the very beginning, some may want them to sleep in your room until they're 3 months, or 6 months, or even a year.  My point is that what works for one person, may not work for another.  Becoming a new Mom is already hard enough and as Mom's, we need to encourage and support each other.

Marshall's BIRTHday!

It was the morning of July 24th, the morning we would meet our baby boy.  
I woke up at 4:30am (let's be serious, I barely slept that night), showered and we made it to the hospital right at 6am!  
The nurse came to get us, shortly after we arrived.  Everything moved so promptly.  At that point, I instantly felt the anxiety rush through my body.  Those of you who know me, know that I have horrible anxiety, horrible.  Pregnancy helped regulate it, but the morning of my c-section, it was like it came at me 100%.   The sweetest nurse was prepping me, getting my IV in and Doug and I were pretty much just hanging out, talking about what was to come.  BTW, I loved seeing him in scrubs!

When my doctor walked in and started talking to me about what was happening next, that's pretty much when I lost it and couldn't control the tears until after I saw my son.  I was a complete wreck the entire time.  As I continue to type this, I can't help but flash back to that day and start getting emotional all over again.  It was all truly amazing and miraculous.

7:30am quickly rolled around and there I went.  Doug had to wait in the hall while they got my epidural ready and got me situated.  As I lay there in the cold OR, I prayed to myself that our baby would be healthy and that everything would go smoothly.  This being my first child, I literally had no idea what to expect.  Yes, my doctor walked me through it step by step more than once but the unknowns were still so scary to me.  I remember crying so hard because I was scared and so nervous.  Since Doug wasn't there, my Doc let me squeeze his hand as the epidural was placed.  I kinda feel bad, I think I just about broke his hand.    All of a sudden, I was flushed with anxiety as I couldn't feel anything any longer.  I immediately got nauseated and had to keep taking deep breaths.  During all this, I cried the whole time, wondering when Doug would be able to come back into the room.  After what seemed like hours, he was finally next to me.  I knew they had gotten started because I heard my doctor tell me that I was doing great so far and I could also feel pressure.  I kept my eyes on Doug, clenching his hand as I just cried.  I kept asking if he could see anything.  I remember hearing one of the other doctors joking how our baby might come out wearing a cheesehead.  :)
At some point I told Doug that I loved him and all of a sudden I hear them say that they're about to push the baby out.  I felt pressure and tugging but no pain whatsoever.  I heard them say he had a lot of dark hair and then I heard the most beautiful sound, my son's first faint cry.  I kept asking Doug if he was ok and if he had everything.  Ha ha.  :)  
All of a sudden, this beautiful baby boy was placed on my chest and I seriously couldn't contain myself.  I will never forget that precious moment.  The moment that I shared with my husband, welcoming our baby boy into the world.  It was pure love at first sight.  
Shortly after surgery was done, there we went into the recovery room where we were able to spend a little time together with our son.  I told Doug that I fell more in love with him that day.  It truly brought us closer.   
I am beyond grateful, beyond blessed and am so incredibly happy to have our healthy baby boy! 

Marshall Douglas Eason was born at 7:55am, weighing 6lbs 9oz and 20 inches long.
Welcome to the world sweet baby boy! 

My thoughts on Mommyhood so far coming soon!